A recent Duke University study on the demise of friendship is an indication of "something that's not good for our society,'' says one of its authors, Lynn Smith-Lovin, a professor of sociology.

But for those who don't fit into the scenario presented by the study -- of a growing multitude of would-be friends cocooning instead in suburbia with their nuclear families -- it may be all too easy to make friends.

Within any given community of common interest, be it a kayaking club, a Frisbee league or a team of Habitat for Humanity volunteers, opportunities for friendship abound.

Alliances made in person are compounded by an ever-expanding matrix of cyber friends uploading love on Friendster, MySpace, Facebook and other online gathering places. Other electronic communication, including instant messaging and texting, also demand a steady supply of 24/7 companions.

It can be a full-time job keeping up with all of those friends -- from childhood, from school, from work, from the neighbourhood -- and, of course, there are all of those friends of friends.

Just how many Best Friends Forever can any one person sustain? Friendship may be linked to longevity and good health by researchers, but is there a tipping point when nurturing relationships becomes more of a burden than a joy?

Rather than feel obliged to attend dozens of art openings and concerts showcasing her innumerable buddies, Bowers, 26, finally took her mother's advice and learned to decline invitations.

That Americans' inner circle of confidants has "shrunk dramatically,'' according to the Duke study, leaves Chicago author Joseph Epstein unmoved.

"One of the great divisions of humankind is between those who get a great release from confession and those who don't,'' says Epstein, whose new book, Friendship: An Expose, casts a gimlet eye on friendship's complexities.

There is a "very marked difference between people I want to hang out with because they're fun and people I'd want to spill my guts to,'' Bowers says.

No matter how many speed-dial buddies you can boast, there are natural limits as to the number of friends one can accumulate, says Robin Dunbar, an evolutionary psychologist at the University of Liverpool. He and collaborators have found that in a wide variety of cultures the degrees of intimacy expand outward in a similar pattern of concentric rings.

A "support clique of best friends'' numbers about five, while the "sympathy group'' extends from 12 to 15 members, according to Dunbar's research. Beyond that, are the 30 to 50 folks who are "contacted at least once a month,'' and beyond them, the greater "social network'' with a capacity of 150 members.

Women's social networks are typically larger than those of men, the researcher found. Shelonda Stokes' description of her network of friends conforms loosely to the patterns revealed in Dunbar's work.

It may be reassuring for those who feel guilty of friend neglect to know that time is an intractable factor in determining the quantity and quality of friendships.

Like the Duke researchers, Dunbar questions technology's efficacy in forging friendships. "In my view, there is nothing to replace face-to-face contacts,'' he says.

In his book, Epstein attempts to make peace with the fact that not all friendships are equal -- or possible. "I think you have to understand that life is a game of limitations, and endless choices. One simply can't do it all."

In searching for a healthy balance between friends and everything else, it's wise to listen to those such as Stokes, who juggles friends, work and small children with finesse and minimal hand-wringing. Stokes, 34, revels in her friendships, but knows as well that it's impossible to be all things to all friends at all times.

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